From Czech

Má-li se něco podělat, pak s chutí a pořádně

Tož vám také nikdy nic nevychází, tak jak má, když si vše pěkně pečlivě naplánujete?
Tenhle rok je pro naše plány prostá katastrofa; nic se nám nedaří vyřídit, dodělat ani rozdělat, já tvrdím, že plánovat se nemá, protože pak nikdy nic dobře nevyjde. Ale manžel neposlechl a plánoval a teď to tu máme – ne tedy, že by to byla jeho chyba – vše pěkně nalinkované se nám z linek rozsypalo a nám se nedaří věci nacpat zpět do vyměřených linií.
Sňatek je zatím platný pouze na území Velké Británie a většiny států EU, Čechy se uznáním dokumentu platného dle Haagské dohody neobtěžují a vyžadují hromadu papírování a nejlépe osobní přítomnost obou manželů na zvláštní matrice v Brně – ne v Praze, hezky cestovatelům při ruce, když už k tomu dojde, ale náramně z ruky v Brně; vzhledem k tomu, že pobývám na Vysočině, nic při ruce stejně nemám, kromě lidské hlouposti a neochoty.
Kuvajt se nám také nepoštěstil, soudce vydávající razítko na kuvajtskou verzi našeho certifikátu si postavil hlavu, že nám to neorazítkuje, protože se mu něco nelíbí, jestli je to ší’aismus manžela, jeho v Kuvajtu známé rodinné jméno, jeho krátký plnovous nebo prostě měl neúctyhodný dlouhovousý sunnita jen hodně špatný den, to nevíme – každopádně nám nic neusnadnil a odkázal nás na žalobu, kterou to z něj prý možná dostaneme.
Po pár dnech bojů s financováním takové žaloby proti celému ministerstvu jsme vynalezli jiný plán, ke kterému jsme se pomalu dokodrcávali; leč co tomu náhoda nechtěla, manžel se v závěrečných zkouškách na univerzitě příliš nevyznamenal a neblahý výsledek nám pečlivě a složitě vykonstruovanou ideu zhatil.
Musíme tedy vše opět přestavit; místo všeho, s čím se počítalo, letíme během týdne či tak zpět do UK, manžel pilně studovat na opravnou zkoušku a já s ním – protože i mně záleží na tom, aby druhá šance nepadla vedle. Pak by se nám totiž zase všechno pěkně zamotalo…
Doufám, že tedy alespoň nový notebook přežije let do Británie, protože můj starý se na harddisk již nepostavil a vesele si chcípá na poušti, kde čeká na rozebrání na součástky. Budiž mu písek lehký.

A to sem ani nezmiňuji vše, co se nám tento měsíc nepovedlo… jen to hlavní. Špatné zprávy už ani nevnímáme jako špatné; natolik jsme jim přivykli.

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Definitively Cloudy

Our second week in Czech is still very cloudy and storms are coming on daily basis. Raining outside, and raining inside – if I can call the flood of problems which just coming and coming and coming towards us.
Nothing at all got solved so far as new hurdles just stand in our way; but hopefully we are slowly crawling to some solutions in a month or two.
We gave up the try to have it all smoothly and quickly done – apparently it’s not in the dictionaries of our governments.
The days in Czech are long and wet now, full of strange looks and whispers, hard to not to notice me I presume; I got already used to it but I guess I feel often offended as it was referred to me recently as rather grumpy faced. Well I could as well refer to some poeple as very naive, when they think I can’t hear through hijab at all.
My doctor in hospital carefully proposed a medicine for my problem, probably thinking I will refuse from religious reasons, and I surprised her, when I eventually said yes and asked for the best one in her eyes – not only I wasn’t protesting as many fellows Christians might do, but I said I don’t care about the money as far as it helps.

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Humidity

This is, officially, our third day in Czech so far. Well, if I may count in the day of our arrival, as it was really just few tired hours before the next day came, indeed. But, oh well – third day.
Dori, my daughter, seems to adapt very quickly, at least when it comes to knowing who will spoil her and allow more things than her bad, bad mama, who tries to say very loud and strict “No,” on most of her demands, such as chocolate during the day just like that, cocoa milk for breakfast instead of our normal custom when she gets it just after the dinner, if she was behaving nicely the whole day and ate her whole dinner; also she knows that random outbursts of crying will now bring her intended attention from at least two people in the house; hence during last ~50 hours I became the least favourited member of the family, who is used only for feeding, peeing and occasional drop of a kiss – so the peeing and feeding won’t accidentally stop.
The three days of our stay are all extremely humid, though. The weather is just like another summer in Czech, with randomly coming storms, shorter or longer ones, often circling over the small area of the little town we are living in, coming to and fro as a mad swing in the wind, so sometimes we have the same storm three times in a row within quite a short period of time, like one or two hours; forcing us to switch on and off our computers and stuff we won’t wanna get fried if so happens that the lightning will hit right our house – or the neighbours, which is, in the end, the same building. It’s been said to me that right few days ago a lightning hit one of the houses in the town and completely burnt all the electronics in the house, and going through cables destroyed even few more PCs, which were still in the net. Hard to know, where lays the real truth, since this is really just a small town and all those sayings and fames spread rather quickly and you know it, one adds that and second this, and the end receiver has a completely different story, a true remake, version not really much believable and true to the original event. So lets say that at least one PC got fried due to an unfortunate yet normal natural event.

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Child on Board

Finally! After a year, well, almost a year, we are back in Czech. Not back as forever, of course – just holidays.
For my luck and un-luck Easy Jet finally and definitively withdrew the direct flight from N’Castle to Prague, so any more direct and simple (and quite short, to be perfectly honest) routes weren’t available. But … although paying more and having to go through Heathrow, London, I gotta say, that when the transit is within survivable period of time (ours was 2 hours), it is ok. The difference between charter flights and BA is simple – you can choose seats before boarding, hence no more elbowing, kneeling and drop kicking of other travellers trying to get seated at a nice spot; and food and drink is freely served at every flight of BA, by smiling and comfortably helpful staff. No more 3 pounds per cup of faucet water.
Well. How was the route, anyway? We were departing from Newcastle International Airport at 12:00 GMT, being 2 hours in advance on the airport itself. Not having any kind of liquids in my bag now (even I can learn after few tries, that it’s better to spend 1 pound for a small bottle of water at the lounge of the gate, than to get into hand of some eager staff member and get stripped from clothes and have the whole handbag unpacked in front of other people, shaming and bloody annoying, really), Dori having lotsa fun looking on the big air crafts leaving and landing and turning and trying to get as close to the building as possible. She made, more or less, approximately 12 new friends in those several hours, English ones as well as some American ones (Aboody: “Why can’t I be on a flight with many American girls heading to some sports event?”), and made my head almost explode from the amount of people turning to me with the inevitable question in their eyes: “What the heck is she talking about?”, helplessly pointing on the unstoppable mouth of the little daughter of mine.
With a little delay we landed in Prague at half past six pm, my father already waiting for us in the arrivals hall.
We spent another 2 hours in the car travelling from the Capital of Czech to the town where I used to live in southern Bohemia / Moravia, depends who you ask, where the town lays exactly.
We arrived at 9 pm, that’s about 11 hours after leaving our flat in Mowbray Street, sitting in the taxi heading to the airport and thinking, how much will I miss my hard-headed, hot-blooded Kuwaiti husband.
He’s leaving to Kuwait today, so I keep him in my thoughts all the time, hoping his route will be as easy it can be, considering a long flight from Britain to Dubai and than to Kuwait. And I took his PSP!

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Let the old hag die! / Jen ať si chcípne, baba jedna!

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“I really dislike old people who annoy all the time a they don’t understand to anything etc. I go home with my dog and I see at the entrance an old witch and she says where does this Novak live (I guess the witch is from them) so I tell her at the ground floor (she told me at the entrance already that nobody answers her, does he, my judgment is they weren’t at home) so I let her in and go home – first floor. Now I hear how she totters and knocks on our door!! My mum opens the door and that idiot asks where does Novak live :-D So my mum patiently answers her one floor below this one. (that hag didn’t get it or what but I got some nerves from how stupid she is that she doesn’t understand that if nobody answers they are most likely NOT AT HOME…) so I’m in my room the window wide open and I hear that old hag somewhere below the window how she most likely asks somebody where does Novak live :-D Wouldn’t you just kill her?”
Discussion on lide.cz.
“I agree and electrical fence so she will snuff it and they can drag her body away so there will be calm again :-D
btw: I don’t understand that idiot neither… let him do whatever he desires, no? and not ask that old hag… give her a lunch with rat poison :-D”
Reaction on a topic on lide.cz about a senior citizen who is making difficulties about building a fence between her property and property of the author of original topic of discussion. (Respectively her relative.)

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Very motivating and educative picture on undies for 3 years old girls

Very motivating and educative picture on undies for 3 years old girls; bought in Czech Rep.

This came today from Czech from my mum for my daughter; my mum didn’t have any idea about the quite disturbing picture on the panties.
When we unpacked it we didn’t really know if we should laugh, how ridiculous can the distributor be; or cry over the state of society we got, since this situation is presented to children of 3 years of age as totally normal and acceptable… (or maybe as a hint hint?)
My daughter won’t make any sense of it at this point, but it is still sad what is viewed as a standard frame for ethics and morals we teach our children nowadays…

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